I have finally finished editing my book. I finished it a week or so ago, and then I sent it to my best friend to edit for typos and such. Which she did. I spent the last three hours going back and forth between her edits and my copy. It is finally finished and ready to be formatted to be published.
Holy shit.
I don't even know how I feel right now. And that makes me wonder how I will feel when I hit Publish. Holy crap. I am excited and yet filled with trepidation at the same time. I wonder if people will like it. I wonder if people will hate it. I wonder a lot of things. Clearly I think too much.
I also wonder how I feel about the book. When I first wrote it, I loved it. For years after I wrote it, I loved it. It has always been my baby. Now that I have read it so many times in order to edit it, I wonder if it is any good. I'm not sure if that is because it really is no good, or because I am just nervous to publish it and for it to be out in the world. Ugh. So many feelings. Once I have it formatted and ready to publish, I might show you all the cover, which I love so much. I'm not sure what I will do yet. But I will let you know before I publish it, just in case any of you want to buy it.
Next order of business. On May 1st, I tweeted that it was May 1st and the perfect day to start a new project, and then when I opened up a blank Word document, I had nothing.
It is not that I had nothing, come to find out, but that I was unaware of how to start. I am, sort of, working on three projects at once. This is merely because I don't know which one I should really work on, which one I should finish first, and which one I want to work on. Writing, for me, is a lot about emotion. This is also how I handle my food. Moods. If I am not in a mood to have meatballs, I don't want to eat meatballs. However, when I am in the mood for something, I just have to have it. This is how I handle my writing a lot. If I desperately want to work on a book, that is what I want to work on. A lot of the time, also, this has a lot to do with the characters I think about most often and most vividly. So many emotions, good thing writing and books have so much to do with emotion.
But like I said, it was not that I had nothing. I knew what project I was starting on, and I knew where the whole book would go, because it is the second book in a series, but I had no clue how I wanted to start it. I knew that three things needed to happen in the beginning of the book, but I wanted to perfect scene/sentence to start the book. Now, I am well aware that nothing is or ever will be perfect, so don't start with me. But first lines are my thing. Not that I ever have perfect, or even good first lines. What I mean, is I think the first line of a book is so important, so crucial that it needs to be as close to perfect as it can be. This is what I was struggling with. The sentences I thought I had for the three scenes I could have used were not coming to me. I also think I was stuck in my own head. I felt like I needed to start this project because it was the first of a new month and because my friends who love to read my books wanted a new one. Ugh! But then I wrote a first sentence, whether it be good or not, and then words just started flowing out of me. It was awesome. I felt accomplished and a little less like a failure. And I think that is what we writers need to do sometimes, get out of our own heads. We can be really detrimental to ourselves, if you know what I mean.
I wish there was more time in the day, or that I didn't have to sleep. There are so many project I want to work on and I feel like I don't have enough time to work on them all. Jackson Pearce tweeted to day that when she figures out how to teleport shit is going to get real. I wish I new how to teleport. I hate driving. Also, I would go to so many places I want to see, like New Zealand, England, Rome, and so many other places.
I live in Nebraska, and if you know anything about being a nerd, and living in Nebraska, then you know that unless you want to travel a long ways, you will never see any of the authors that you like. I wanted to see Maggie Stiefvater a few years ago but the closest she was to me was over five hours away and I just couldn't make that work. Even a couple weeks ago, there were three authors I really like that were in Des Moines, IA, but it was short notice and several hours away and I just didn't get to see them. But now, Maggie is going to be in Omaha, in July, which is only three hours away and two months notice, and I totally get to go. I am so excited!!
I feel like there are a lot of things to do, besides publishing my book, as an author. I already have a Twitter page, so that is covered. I also have a blog, so that is covered. However, I feel like I need to post more often. But then there is a Facebook page, a website, and a lot of other things. Especially since I am self publishing. I will have to get the word of my books out all by myself. But if I really want to do this, being a writer this, then I am okay with that. I will put in the work, because I have only ever wanted to be a writer, and I know that I will only ever want to be a writer.
Well, I feel like I have said enough for one day. Thank you for reading, and until next time.
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